Scrapbook Spree!

I've been under the weather for the past week, which has given me lots of time to catch up on some scrapbooking. 

Enjoy!

 

 

 

Nine Months of Evie May

I love this kid. :)

She's growing up so fast!

Yellowstone

In August my awesome friend Susan Leany took me on her annual family vacation to Yellowstone to see the geysers. Her dad, Kevin, is a Geyser Gazer from all the way back to the early 1970s. It was glorious fun watching geysers erupt and spending time with the Leany family!

4th of July

This year to celebrate Independence Day I went to a party at a friend's house, which was close enough to the BYU stadium to hear and see the Stadium of Fire! We even got to enjoy a small fireworks display on the street in front of the house, which was mostly lit by neighbor children. A fun time was had by all, but I'm not sure the car parked next to our little firework show will ever be the same.

Birthday Bowling

Last month for my birthday I had a blast Starburst Bowling with a bunch of friends. If you've never experienced Starburst Bowling, I highly recommend it. I'm a terrible bowler, so this is the perfect way to make bowling fun for those of us who think it is a major accomplishment to break 100 on the scoreboard. Just take a bag of Starbursts and a bunch of friends to the bowling alley, get the gutter bumpers (they're the BEST!), and draw a Starburst out of the bag to determine your bowling approach.

Yellow: throw the ball in the normal fashion, but with your non-dominant hand
Red: backwards granny roll (stand with your back toward the pins, bend over and push the ball between your legs)
Orange: Fred Flintstone Twinkle Toes approach
Pink: lay on your stomach and push the ball (my personal fave!)

Hilton Family

My sister has the cutest family. I love the Hiltons!

Accepting our Innate Awesomeness

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. 

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, 

           not our darkness that most frightens us. 

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be 

                                                   brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? 

Actually, who are you not to be? 

You are a child of God. 

Your playing small does not serve the world. 

 There is nothing enlightened about  

-  shrinking  -

so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. 

We are all meant to shine, as children do. 

We were born to make manifest the  
glory of God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people  permission to do the same. 

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." 

–Nelson Mandela

Taking Courage

As part of an art therapy group, we were asked to draw an image that answered the questions

"Where am I?" and "Where am I going?"

The image that came to mind when I was asked where I am was darkness. There were several images that I wanted the answer to be, like a lounge chair at the beach or a field full of flowers, but they wouldn't quite materialize and I ended up with darkness and confusion. I felt stuck, helpless, hopeless, frustrated, angry at myself for being in that place. I felt that I was on the path of life, but I couldn't see the dangers and pitfalls that might be awaiting me.

I didn't know where to turn, I couldn't see my next step before me, I was paralyzed and fearful of making a wrong step. I didn't trust myself to be able to handle it if I made a wrong step and found myself in harm's way. I felt so alone and lost.

As I talked about it in group, I realized that I was getting lost in the "I don't know how's" which I know is a phrase I use when I'm just stuck and don't want to move forward. I do know how to set boundaries, accomplish hard things, be courageous and make difficult decisions. I just find that sometimes I fear it's too hard and I don't want to deal with the consequences (or rewards) so I get stuck and say I don't know how to move forward.

What if the darkness is there only because I have my eyes closed? 

I can't see my path not because of an outside force I can't control (like the night) but rather it's because I'm refusing to look at my path. What would I see if I opened my eyes? Where would I be?

What if I found myself on a path that was brightly lit and the options and pitfalls clearly marked?






What if I saw that path lined on either side with people who love me cheering me on like at a marathon?








What if I saw helpful people all along the way to guide me like temple workers do?










What if I opened my eyes to see the face of God as He carries me when I'm too scared or too weary to walk beside Him?

What if the path isn't scary after all? 

So I'll be perfectly honest here, it's been a rough few weeks. I got all kinds of happy and gung-ho about life and then crashed for some reason. The most likely candidate for the cause of this crash is just habit. And when I get into such a slump the last person I want to talk to about it is God. I know it sounds apostate to even admit, but sometimes I struggle with admitting defeat and asking for help.

After some good talks with some close friends I'm feeling better about my situation and I'm starting to see a way out. I went to the temple this week hoping to find some small measure of peace and I guess I was just searching for Truth.

Let me pause here for a quick tangent about why I love the temple:

I love the temple! It has been two years this month since I went through the temple for the first time. I love every moment I get to spend in the temple. It took a while for me to figure out what I loved so much about being there—I just felt so different when I was in the temple. Finally I realized it's the quiet that's so different. We all have a tape recorder of some sort in our minds that plays our beliefs about ourselves over and over again. For some of us the worry tape is playing nonstop. For a fortunate few, the tape might sound like the little engine that could: “I think I can. I know I can!” which helps them feel confident. My mental tapes are on constant repeat with themes like worthlessness and inadequacy. They play so often that I start to believe them.

What I've found in the temple is the ultimate quiet when those mental tapes stop playing. It was in the temple that I discovered those mental tapes were recorded by the Adversary—and in all his trickery he recorded them with my voice so they would seem more true! He loves to make me forget how awesome and absolutely incredible I am. But in the temple he's not there and neither are his old cassette tapes. He doesn't have a recommend and as much as he might try, he can't sneak in! It's such a relief to me to get a break from his constant nagging about how much I'll never measure up so I can hear the quiet whispering of the Spirit telling me I am so loved and I am enough.

Continuing on...

At the temple today I randomly opened the scriptures and the book happened to fall open to Alma 38 where Alma tells his son Shiblon about his experience with suffering.

“I spent three days and three nights in the  
most bitter pain and anguish of soul;
and never, until I did cry out unto the Lord Jesus Christ
for mercy, did I receive a remission of my sins. 

...I did cry unto him and did find peace to my soul.” 

It wasn't until he asked the Lord for help that his suffering ceased and he finally found relief and peace.

How long will I suffer the most bitter pain and anguish of my soul 

until I finally allow my Savior to help?

I had a very long visit with Heavenly Father in the celestial room. I told him I miss him and asked for help to have courage to make changes in my life to align my will with His. I prayed about a lot of things. Worries about my finances, my job, my desire for a church calling (I have been wanting to get more involved in my ward, but I haven't been assigned a calling yet), courage in dating (well, courage to stop running away from dating), courage to listen to Rex and do the hard things he encourages me to do. I prayed for patience with myself, patience and love for other people, help with setting and enforcing boundaries, sticking up for myself in the most kind and loving way. I realized my prayer was really self-centered, so I prayed for people I love and worry about. It was such a relief to talk openly to my Heavenly Father and know that He loves me enough to listen.

At times I have wondered if there is anyone at the other end of my pleas to the Universe. Sometimes it feels like I'm talking to myself, my pillow or my steering wheel. I know God hears and answers prayers. I've been taught such truths since Primary. I know God has answered my prayers because I've had miraculous experiences that have proven it to me. And yet, sometimes I've wondered if it's all just been a coincidence. 

I can testify that prayer works. I can testify that
Heavenly Father not only knows my name, 

He knows my fears, my worries, my dreams and aspirations,
my thoughts, my deepest desires.  

He knows me better than I know myself. I also know that  
He loves me enough to respect my agency.
He won't jump in to intervene when I'm headed for trouble. 

He won't stop me when He knows I'll get hurt. 

He loves me enough to wait for me to ask for His help.

I have seen answers to several very specific things I prayed for just in the past few days. I choose to believe the things that are happening are not coincidence. Things I have no control over, things I have wanted for months and months, things that were not set in motion before my prayer are lining up and just happening. And it's all happening in a way that I'm convinced could only be God's work.

The day after the temple my job situation changed for the better, which relieves some of the stress and worries I had. I received a phone call two days after I went to the temple asking me to come in to meet with the bishopric and get a church calling. Opportunities have presented themselves and I have had the courage to take them.

It has truly been miraculous as I have watched Heavenly Father bless my life and specifically answer my prayer. It makes me so grateful for the gift of communing with God in
such a personal way.

I'm grateful for the little things He does to remind me that 

I am His precious daughter and He loves me!

Fossil Creek

Last month I went to Arizona for a few days. I got to go with Kylie, Jack and their girls to Fossil Creek to hike around and throw rocks in the creek with Sarah. It was lots of fun. I love hanging out with the Hiltons. :)

Festival of Colors!

I love my life. 

And I love my best friend. 

And I love that I have a really fun life because of my best friend. 

Last weekend we went to Festival of Colors at the Hari Krishna Temple in Spanish Fork. I was apprehensive about going because the idea of getting absolutely filthy didn't exactly sound appealing. But then I remembered that I always have a blast when I try new things.

So off we went to join the mayhem at the pagan festival. It was so much fun! I didn't even mind being dirty! ...Well, my lungs minded a bit when they were covered in powder just like the rest of me. But other than that I loved every second! 

To make the day even better, we made new friends, reunited with old friends and even discovered a new restaurant that's pretty much amazing. I'm so glad I have the coolest best friend ever who encourages me to play and try new things!

Floral Designer Extraordinaire

I've been working really hard for the past few years to resolve some emotional issues and traumas. I feel like just recently I have finally emerged. At long last my head is above water and I feel so happy and free.

It's truly a miracle from my Heavenly Father. The Atonement is an incredible, beautiful gift! Even when all hope for healing is lost and the smallest measure of joy or peace seems a million miles away,

I am reminded that I am not forgotten,

I have not been abandoned

and I will laugh and dance again.

 I am reminded of God's everlasting, unfailing love for me and that truly 

all these experiences are for my good. 

It's been a very long, difficult journey and now I appreciate that glimmer of light I'm starting to see at the end so much more because of where I've been. It's true that in order to comprehend and cherish joy, 
we have to understand its opposite by experiencing sorrow.

Now that the crisis is largely over I'm beginning a period of self-discovery, I'm trying new things and discovering 
what I like, who I am and what I love to do. 
It's an amazingly glorious experience to get acquainted with myself for the very first time and find out how awesome I am! I feel like a new person. 
I have been through the refiner's fire and come out 
completely transformed for the better.

As a part of this self-discovery I am reevaluating my current career path. I have been working in a lot of different areas of finance for the past several years. While I absolutely loved being a financial analyst, I am longing now to do something more creative. I want to use my resourcefulness, ingenuity, leadership, organization skills, ambition and enthusiasm 
to create something beautiful.

I would really love to become an event coordinator. I would love to put together smooth, seamless events by orchestrating every detail and bringing a million moving parts into perfect harmony. I want to make people happy and stress-free during their big event, 
whether it's a wedding, a corporate event or just a party.

I would be the hero that makes the whole thing possible! 
What an awesome job!

In my search for such job openings I have also discovered floral designer positions that sound like a lot of fun. I took some classes a few years ago and fell in love with flowers. It's so rewarding to 
create a beautiful masterpiece 
with flowers that I can give away as gifts or use for centerpieces at big family parties. I created a little sampling of my designs 
to submit with an application this week. 

It makes me so happy to make the world just a little bit more beautiful.

Girls Night Out

We went out to Pizza Factory and Comedy Sportz for Martha's birthday. I love hanging out with my girls. :)

Severe Weather

My sister just sent me this very alarming email. I knew Phoenix was having some pretty severe weather this winter, but I didn't realize the seriousness of the situation. I pray that the good people of the greater Phoenix area will have the strength to carry on as they clean up the damage left in the wake of these terrible storms. There will be sunny days ahead, good Phoenicians. There will be sunny days ahead.

With all the news lately about the subzero weather and snow that the Midwest and East coast areas are experiencing, we shouldn't forget that Phoenix also has had its share of devastating weather in the last couple weeks.   

Attached is a photo showing damage to a home from a recent storm that passed through the Phoenix, AZ area. It really makes you cherish what you have, and  reminds us not to take life for granted.

My thoughts and prayers go out to these folks. I hope that they can find strength to work through this.

Mocktail Party

Last September Emily and I went to a swanky Black & White Mocktail Party, which was so much fun! I love Utah parties that cater to us classy, sober girls. I never knew there were so many fun drinks that could be made without alcohol. ...Like Dr. Pepper with Piña Colada mix. It sounds nasty, but it was surprisingly delectable.

How To Be an EVIL Villain

I love Jana and Dan's theme parties. They hosted an Evil Villain Seminar twice last year. Both events were a huge success, and very educational as well!

Thankful Thursday

Since I'm new to blogging, I thought I'd borrow a tradition from my dear friend Julianna, who borrowed it from her friend Heather. Where did it come from before Heather? I have no idea. I'm not really a genealogist, so tracing anything back more than two generations is not really my forte. 

But that's not the point....

Thankful Thursdays

a chance to reflect on the week and count my many blessings

On this particularly snowy Thursday, 

I'm grateful for winter 

....and space heaters, 

(without which I wouldn't be able to enjoy winter weather the way I do). 

I'm also grateful that my landlord fixed our furnace last week. 

It's so much easier to appreciate winter weather when I'm warm. I haven't always enjoyed winter, which many people who have listened to me gripe about the cold in past years can attest. However, since I moved back to Utah last year I have really come 
to appreciate the season I never knew growing up.

What I love most about winter is how

beautiful it is!

I love when the snow sticks to the tree branches.

 

It's absolutely gorgeous, especially when the street lamps 

light up the trees at night and make them glow. 

I love the ice crystals that appear on my windshield in the mornings. It's not often that I can see the fine details of each snowflake and I love how beautifully unique each one is.

It's especially beautiful when the sun makes 

the snow sparkle like glitter.  

 

 I love to see the snow on the mountains all around me. It's an incredible experience to see the sunset reflected on the white mountains. Suddenly they are transformed into such glorious works of art that I can't take my eyes off them. It doesn't last very long and it takes a clear day and a fabulous sunset to make it happen, so it's a rare treat to behold.

It seems ironic for this Arizona girl to appreciate a 
season that comes with such ungodly temperatures, 
but it's true. 

I am thankful for winter.

Snow Patrol Concert

Emily and I love going to concerts and rocking out together. We saw Snow Patrol & Plain White T's last October and they were both fantastic!